Weasels, who did well to keep Messi quiet all game, will be frustrated to have lost a game in which they broadly dominated. They were unlucky to see a thumping Alves strike ruled out for a questionable offside call but were unable to conjure many other big chances and their heads sank when Williams got up the other end to bury a sneaky one. The Dawgs revival rolls on after all; six wins in a row makes them the league’s form team.

By Kathleen Thimblestein

The Pigs knew that they had to kick themselves into a higher gear if they want to seriously challenge Farcelona; it was a lesson that they seemed to have digested well. They were busy and aggressive in the first half, Ismaily taking advantage of Ice’s suspension to cap it off with a goal, and professional in the second, Dybala doubling the lead from the spot after Immobile got too physical in the penalty area. Even after De Sciglio turned one into his own net, Arbor Red did get one back right at the death through Gomez, but it was almost the first sign of life that they showed all game.

By DeShawn ‘Hoyters Gonna’ Hoyte

Surreal Madrid really got Terminated here, just like in the hit film The Terminator. Reus scored a goal that reminded me of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The whole thing was basically WarGames, but with more football and less armageddon. Much like the Ghostbusters sequels, FC Cers weren’t all that good but they were good enough. Remember Pac-Man?

By Ernest Cline

Les Canards seemed buoyed by the return of Lewandowski to the first team and they took the lead early on, Muniain bagging his eighth goal of the season. Halfman, as they often do, looked determined to deliver the goods but couldn’t do more than equalise through Martinez. If this league were ranked on class, Rodgers’s men would surely be right up there, but their inability to close out games is frankly maddening.

By Sloppy Girders

La Ball’s weakness to the league’s weakest sides is increasingly evident and the Menace were patient in their attempts to exploit this, with Vidal a commanding presence in midfield. The hosts looked nothing like the team who spanked seven past Carrcelona just two weeks ago, timidity reigning with the likes of Hazard and Icardi very quiet. Galthier’s side have done well to get this far up the table but their opponents were entirely content to take the draw and were never really made to worry about that.

By Queenie Riordan

With Pekerman desperately needing a result to salvage his job, it looked like Nilwall had done enough for him. Though Lukaku netted yet another penalty to cancel out Scouse legend Aspas’s opener, the visitors raised their game after the break with two goals in as many minutes from Kane, finally stepping up after a quiet season. But the Geese had their own one-two punch coming, with Silva and Lo Celso breaking through a vulnerable defence in the final minutes to ensure a share of the spoils. How long can the under-pressure Nilwall boss hold on at this rate?

By Xan Tegne

Having eliminated the distraction of cup football, Maychester were in the mood to prove that their focus is fully on a title challenge. They were surprised when Cavani merked them on the counter on 30 minutes in the Mancs’ first attack of note, but kept up their focus in a blistering attacking performance. Their total dominance was rewarded when, twice, Ronaldo rose to meet Lazzari’s delivery and it could easily have been much more than that. The MiBs can talk all they want about their capacity to guard against extraterrestrial violence but a little more guarding closer to home would not have gone amiss here.

By Vicky Püntneuler

Coming off two consecutive losses, Farcelona looked very much like a bear that had recently been poked. They started with real purpose and took a swift lead through Barella, settling into clear control of the game. Though Los Hijos did equalise when Mane caught Neuer at the near post and the goalkeeper fumbled it into his own net, the away side always looked likely to score more. It was Sane who found room just after the break and, though Pochettino’s side offered fleeting danger down the flanks, their inferiority was underlined by a confident Suarez finish late in the day. The leaders are back up and running.

By Esteban Tonto

Martyrs, seemingly taking heart from the sight of De Bruyne sitting on the bench once again, were energetic early on and should have made more of their opportunities. The Cocks grew into the game, with Rashford once again their most potent threat down the left, and it was he who broke the deadlock when he found space just after the break. The problem for Klopp’s side – beyond the Flying V, which clearly doesn’t suit them at all – remains a lack of potency in the final third. Ferguson’s men, though, continue their upward trajectory and are now firmly in mid-table.

By most of Blink-182