Arise, Sir Bobbert Lewandowski, Lord of Ducks. The Polish striker has struggled to establish himself this season after that early injury but he’s well and truly done it now. Three goals in seven first-half minutes decided it for his team here, combining multiple times with right-back Stones after a thunderclap of a strike to break the deadlock, and he buried a late fourth for good measure. Aubameyang’s two goals were far, far too late to matter, and Halfman continue to stagnate in the no-man’s-land between mid-table and glory.

By Archie McGrabbinpops