Now officially confirmed as champions, Farcelona received a guard of honour for the first time. Through it walked a bunch of nobodies who’ve barely played a game all season, with Guardiola taking the time to throw run-outs to his second-stringers. But it was regular starter Dembele, keeping his place, who took the headlines here with two very well-taken goals. Nilwall are still bad.

By Fran, a ferret cursed with sentience