The league’s best team against the league’s worst team; this had got upset written all over it, right? Nope. Farcelona flattened Bruce’s men like an industrial tractor running over a grape. The undisputed highlight was their second goal, an astonishing curler from Bentancur that might well have a case for out-Roberto Carlosing Roberto Carlos. Paredes thwacked a hat-trick of not dissimilarly disgusting quality, too. It may not be the biggest scoreline that the league has ever seen, but it was probably the most comprehensive difference between the better team and the worse one. The title is so close now.

By ‘Snakey’ Rupert Banjobag