This was not a game blessed with many clear-cut chances – although Martial and Sterling each clattered one off the woodwork – but the quantity was made up for by the quality of Silva’s equaliser, which was the end of a scorching team move and a glorious pass from Messi. Weasels’ winning streak is over.

By Jacob Mark

The Bruno machine is still very much in operation – the Surreal midfielder scored in sensational style – but the hosts looked unable to deal with the marauding runs and crosses from the Ducks’ wide men, who put it on a plate for Llorente twice within a minute. Of course, they weren’t helped by Schmeichel kicking it straight to an opponent to set up an embarrassingly easy fourth. The main takeaway for most spectators, though, will be Ice’s gorgeous goal, a sumptuous lob of the keeper from the edge of the area.

By Carbohydrate McGillity

Exceptional standards of finishing were the key difference here for the impressive Halfman, who started to overrun the game in the later stages as the Cocks’ hopes faded away.

By Lara ‘the Tuscaloosa Meme Machine’ Brianitock

MISSED PEN Icardi 49′

A bottle jawb of the highest order here as the Dawgs dominated the game apart from doing anything at any point which seemed all that close to resulting in a goal.

By Shark Dooley

A truly awful game for most of its life, but Paulinho’s bundled goal prompted the off-colour Martyrs to wake up, with an energetic counter taking advantage of a disorganised defence for Higuain to equalise. Gomez then missed an absolute sitter, which was only fair because nobody deserved to win this game. What was less fair was Kane scoring 30 seconds later. What was even less fair than that was (you know where this is going).

By Gary Matrix, the main character from The Matrix

RED CARD Goretzka 36′

Welcome to season six, Big Rom.

By Rubidoux Grandslam-Roundtheworld, MD

MISSED PEN Ibrahimovic 10′

Great entertainment for the crowd here between two teams who have got plenty of quality even though they’re struggling for results. The Mancs arguably had the best of it here thanks to some iffy defending from the hosts but Smith’s men scored the more eye-catching goals.

By Heidi Oloollonoo

Maychester showed spirit here but not enough nous as they missed a chance to go joint-top. Whenever the Menace really wanted to make some progress in the opposition box, they were given the time and space to do so.

By ‘Long Hand’ Leroy Barnes

This wasn’t really one for the neutral but everyone will be able to appreciate Suarez’s long, low strike for the winner.

By Baron Vaudeville der Britafilter