Arbor Red

Los Hijos de Chud

0 - 1
14'
Ivan Rakitić
0 - 2
16'
Anthony Martial
Neymar
65'
1 - 2
1 - 3
77'
Jérôme Boateng (Retired)
Jesús Corona
78'
2 - 3

Thomas Tuchel continues to run an excellent marketing campaign for professional football managers; Los Hijos look totally transformed from the Lijnders team, with Rakitic orchestrating everything in midfield. The struggling Arbor Red were no pushovers here, either, fighting hard despite a one-two punch early in the first half and netting some truly delightful goals in response, with Neymar’s a real highlight. The hosts looked far better going forward than in defence but must fancy themselves to turn things around if they can give this kind of effort in every game.

By Cress Trio

The Pocket Dawgs

Chilean Menace

0 - 1
61'
Giorgio Chiellini (OG)
Piotr Zieliński
75'
1 - 1
Eden Hazard (Retired)
92'
2 - 1

MISSED PEN Hazard 91′

Dramatic scenes at the end here as Leno endured a rollercoaster minute – saving a penalty from Hazard one moment and thinking he’d saved the game before being beaten soundly by him only 60 seconds later. It completed an admirable comeback from the Dawgs, who had earlier seen Gnabry kick the ball into the net off Chiellini in an embarrassing mess that may ask questions about the veteran centre-back’s longevity.

By Lenora Basic

Maychester United

Möhömahamörssit

Ansu Fati
32'
1 - 0
1 - 1
38'
Romelu Lukaku
1 - 2
74'
Jonathan Viera

RED Bonucci 39′

Unfancied Maychester turned on the style to open the scoring, with Calvert-Lewin closely involved in a great team move finished by Ansu Fati, but Bonucci saw red immediately after Lukaku leveled things up with a header and went in with malice, leaving the referee no choice. After that, it always seemed like a matter of time until the Pigs bagged the points.

By Burgh Beetle

Wedge Bromwich Albion

AFC He-Man

0 - 1
88'
Corentin Tolisso

If any team were going to win this, it could only have been Halfman; Wedge barely left their own half. The hosts will feel a little frustrated to have lost it so late to a team playing so beneath their usual capabilities but fair play to the title contenders for never losing sight of their goal.

By Elesa Bolt

Os Patos

Brigstock Big Cocks

0 - 1
5'
Gabriel Jesus
0 - 2
34'
James Maddison

Nobody can accuse Llorente of not doing everything he can in pursuit of a goal but the Ducks’ makeshift forward just could not find a way through, with one effort ruled out for a close offside and another well saved. The depleted hosts ended the game with him, Pukki and Downing up front – title contenders, if I ever saw one. The BBC were very solid, with Maddison’s strike a particular peach – drilled low past Szczesny.

By Clay Quake

Weasels

Farcelona

Raheem Sterling
63'
1 - 0

Best team won? Not really. But Selimovic’s men shrugged off the critics to hold firm at the back while the Messi-Sterling combination flourished once again for a trademark counterattacking goal.

By Skyla Jet

La Ball de la Foot

Qiú Mǎng

0 - 1
19'
Alejandro Gómez
Nabil Fekir
82'
1 - 1

RED Correa 27′

Up a man for most of the game after Correa’s moment of psychopathy, the Elves could certainly not complain for a lack of opportunities to equalise but they really dragged it out with some iffy finishing against the in-form Simon. But eventually their relentlessness told, with a fine finish from Fekir preventing disaster. Keita arguably should have wrapped it up with a wayward shot from the edge of the area – and, frankly, if the hosts can’t win a game like this, what business do they have competing at all?

By Brycen Icicle

Surreal Moneyball

Mancs in Black

Ciro Immobile
14'
1 - 0
1 - 1
32'
Kylian Mbappé
Ciro Immobile
53'
2 - 1
João Félix
74'
3 - 1
Ciro Immobile
84'
4 - 1
Harry Maguire
86'
5 - 1

The Mancs are still well fancied by the bookies despite coming into this game in 10th position and there were moments here where you could see why (for those guessing at home, it’s pretty much just ‘Mbappe is good’), but the league leaders asserted themselves strongly, with Immobile’s masterclass of complete finishing proving far too much for the visitors.

By Drayden Legend

FC Cers City

Nilwall FC

0 - 1
16'
Son Heung-Min
Florian Thauvin
28'
1 - 1
Iago Aspas (Pen)
90'
2 - 1

After farting around with all of the ball but almost none of the shots in the first half, Nilwall shrugged off their uncharacteristic display of caution and tried hard to break down a rugged Cers team after the break. But their only truly golden chance was spurned by Walker, who hit the post, and then it all fell apart when their crumbly back line allowed Aspas the chance to snag it from the spot. Not what you might have expected from the league’s top scorers against its least prolific team, but it’s a good lesson in seizing the moment and you have to give the hosts credit for executing a gameplan with conviction.

By Elliott Four

This week's crossword clue

27 Down: Hasten disastrously to reach Mediterranean capital (6)

Crossword grid