This was a decent fixture that was evenly matched in the first half. The Menace showed their quality in the second with a Vardy Party. Their run at the top continues.

By Howie Metyamotha

Poor passing from Maychester lead to an Mbappe breakaway goal. Zidane’s men huffed and puffed in the second half, but failed to blow the house down. Or really do anything.

By Lisa Dweeb

What can I say other than GOAL FEST? Bosh. Show of  character from Phallus to recover from an early storm.

By Queen Deirdre

Would believe me if I said that Surreal got mutilated here? Zaniolo was on fire, but the passing from the entirety of the Farcelona side was mesmerising.

By Colin Dandy

Pretty dull this one. But WBA will be happy with their performance and the points.

By Sam Jet

Weasels couldn’t deal with the least pleasant footballer on the planet. Competent home performance.

By Trucker Boots

We finally see the Pigs that were promised. Beady Elves not even fit for the shelf this season.

By Cassie Nasty

The gameweek’s first Desmond. Lewandowski did the business against his old club. Thorgan caught up on goals with his brother.

By Nicholas Zane

A cheeky chip from Dybala was all it took.

By Matt Prior, the fat friar.

Leon Bailey looked lively, but failed to convert. The rest of Carrcelona were pretty dreadful. Nilwall were back to their chaotic best. A pleasure to half watch.

By Holly Hardcastle