Bruce out? Not a chance. Surreal Madrid didn’t just sneak a win against a very good side, they took them to the cleaners. Two goals for Ritchie of all people and one for Almiron thoroughly embarrassed Szczesny and, well, everyone else involved. Not even a red card for Shelvey midway through the second half could turn the tide. Larry from legal will be dining out on this for years.

By Jacqui Protractor

RED CARD - - Gone-jo Shelvey