Sadly this game will go down in ignominy. Kimpembe was perhaps lucky to still be on the pitch – or have a licence to play football this side of 2025 – after a cynical challenge to stop a clear opportunity on the counter, but he stuck around and headed home the opener soon afterwards. Giroud did put a cap on it with a close-range header in the 92nd minute, after Nilwall had tried fruitlessly to get back into it, but the neutrals won’t be happy about this.

By Milton Egret