A new front in the Duck-Goose rivalry opened up here, and it was the Carrcelona sympathisers who took the bragging rights. Though technically 30 minutes of football had already been played, it all began when, out of nowhere, Douglas Costa thumped a quite ridiculous volley into the top corner from the corner of the penalty box. It was a goal so majestic, which plunged the stadium into such silence, that you’d have been forgiven for missing a merely excellent goal from Pogba – the first of what turned out to be a marvellously complete hat-trick. Joao Felix and Zielinski did nab consolation goals in the middle of it all but Les Canards were more or less blown away by Maychester’s firepower.

By Samson Bratwurst