Halfman instantly assumed total domination of possession against a Weasels side ravaged by injury and suspensions, but one of the league’s classiest teams failed to create sustained pressure with it and didn’t muster a single shot on target until the 89th minute. Perhaps nothing better summed up their malaise than Rodgers introducing Bernardeschi off the bench in the 72nd minute and then withdrawing him to move to a narrow diamond just two minutes later. The visitors will be relieved and confused.

By the power vested in me by the nation of New Zealand, I hereby pronounce you a reader of this report