Warm up the honour guards. The Farce made short work of one of the league’s most in-form teams, with two goals from Paredes and one from Bentancur piling on the misery just before and just after half-time. Former Farce winger Neymar gave his old team a penalty before at least atoning with a stylish volley, but Asensio finished it off late.

By the Duchess of Prang