RED Carvajal 16′

Dani Carvajal has booked himself a date in court for a shocking attack on Griezmann but being a man down didn’t stop this Wedge side at all; particularly the effervescent Bailey, who capped a highly keepable performance with two good goals.

By Victor L. Chupalupa

RED Telles 87′

Reus and Morata have been two of the most exciting forwards in the early stages of this season and both impressed again here but the German’s side had the last laugh despite a strong effort from Ederson in the Arbor Red goal.

By Comet O’Gurgle

It’s starting to look like having no strikers and no defenders isn’t a great strategy for winning football games.

By Ingrid Flan

Comprehensive wooden-spoon favourites Maychester defied the odds here against a Cers team who look short of inspiration. The Casemiro-Herrera partnership continues to be very solid.

By Beth Annihilation

The Zoratti sheen seems to have worn off as the Ducks came up against a Halfman team who looked leagues ahead, inspired by an excellent De Jong performance at the heart of midfield.

By Dr. Ignacy Foldingchair

A belter! The Pigs were certainly worthy winners, though they nearly threw it away when Jonny followed up his goal by conceding a penalty, but Aguero was the star here and would have had a hat-trick were it not for the post.

By Vivienne Oof

Surreal’s rebirth seems to be sticking! Mane was just too much for this faintly shambolic Sons side to handle, with the visitors never really threatening to get back into it at any stage.

By J.C. ‘The Revolving Door of Destiny’ Rumbelows

A heartbreaking finish for Nilwall, who should have taken the lead only a few minutes before Pedro’s goal when Lucas Moura stuffed up a promising counterattack. The Dawgs didn’t live up to their star power but job done nonetheless.

By Richard Hatch

Dunno mate, wasn’t really paying attention to be honest. Have you tried this game, Angry Birds? Amazing.

By Yeehaw Champagne