The MiBs won this game of football by scoring three goals to the Sons’ two. Let me see ya just bounce it with me.

By California ‘The Stank’ Stankman

What happened in this game of football was that FC Cers scored two more goals than the Menace’s zero, which was enough for them to win.

By Paula Nozzle

The defining feature of this match was that it was won by La Ball, with the Martyrs discovering to their sadness the simple mathematical truth that three is greater than two.

By Lizzie Windsor

Looking at the scoresheet, you’d have to say that Farcelona really outscored Arbor Red here; a key component in what ultimately became a victory for them and a defeat for their opponents.

By the inescapable black hole of mortality

I’ve been thinking about an old Herbert Chapman quote from an interview he did in 1931: “Brigstock Big Cocks scored three times to Nilwall’s zero and won the game.” I’d never really understood what it meant before now, but something about this game really crystallised it for me.

By @weedman69

If you’re looking for news of a 3-0 win for the Pigs away from home against the Ducks, then this is absolutely the match report for you.

By Cousin Bobby

You want goals? Weasels have got ’em. Two of ’em. But Halfman? Only one. Not as good. Very poor. The points? All to Weasels. That’s just football sometimes.

By Zizi Topp

Both sides kicked the football on multiple occasions but only the Dawgs kicked it enough times in the direction of the goal for it to go over the line and count as a goal for their team. The Geese did not do that.

By Ol’ Yelpin’ Eric

A Maychester win was just one of three distinct possibilities for what could happen in this game, but it’s the one that happened. Surreal Madrid also participated in this game but they didn’t get to be the winners, because that was Maychester. The scoreline? Well, it goes a little something like this: 3-1.

By Dorothy, the Great Anger