The Martyrs threatened to completely fuck it when they conceded embarrassingly to a Pigs side who had seen Florenzi sent off in only the 21st minute, but a talking-to at half-time seemed to do the trick. Insigne slotted home the equaliser but it was De Bruyne who took the headlines, with two big ol’ super hits that ripped through some tired purple shirts. Inzaghi’s men are doing their bit to hasten Farcelona’s coronation.

By the Loch Ness monster